What's Coding , DOC???

How difficult is coding? How difficult is it to write software ? The reason why i ask this is because i have made at least half a dozen unsuccessful attempts at making my thought process binary , alas!!!! none of them worked. Now, do i lack the will to learn and motivation to get past the unavoidable English sounding words enunciating logic ; or is it the logic i lack. Since i score well in other logic related activities I've began doubting my judgment.


Those were the job hunting days when every advice no matter how irrelevant it is, was considered a blessing and followed earnestly.I went for a interview in an IT firm, disregarding the fact that i am an electrical engineer and what logic am i following by going for a software job with no formal or informal coding background , i knew the HR head though , thought i'd slide along comfortably once i am done with the first few rounds. Alas all i got from the interview was an advice that, Boy ,you are computer illiterate and should go for Java. I asked why Java? He said 'coz Java is IN you moron!!! Come back with a certificate to show that you know Java and i'll help you. The funny thing is poor fellow got fired over some hassle and as always i wasted 10,000 bucks and some 4 months trying to understand the lingo used by my Java instructor at NIIT.The only training i had during those 4 months was in " A-Z of Alien vocabulary & pronunciation tips for everyone". Gosh!! i could not understand anything except the vowels coming from the trainer. I felt stupid to join something i don't know a shit about and wondered about the 10,000 bucks and all wasted Saturday mornings. Maybe i wasn't ready and definitely i can't go for a drive when i don't know where i am going , neither do i know why am going for a drive OR do i need a drive ?


The only program i have ever made is in C; "Fibonacci series" i believe one of the first to be taught to a person showing traces of cerebro evolution a.k.a social devolution. I picked up "Let Us C" by kanetkar and had the help of a senior coach who tried his best to mold me into a valid engineer , even with his >5 years of experience and a fancy designation at an MNC ,( he might have kicked my butt real hard had i been reporting to him), i denied him the simple feel-contended factor that good teachers justifiably deserve.
Then i turned my attention to a friend who boasts a Java background.She told me to buy a book which would be my beacon in the stormy sea of programming. I bought the book and dedicated full week following the light , then, i fainted. I fainted because i could not make my mind between C & Java. One of my friends had told me that languages follow a hierarchy ; first C ,then C++ then Java ; so you have to follow the yellow brick road for becoming a successful programmer. Then someone told me that yellow brick road concept is bull-shit, you can learn anything from scratch no matter where you start , it's gonna be tough but you'll enjoy the ride. Frankly i fancy myself writing applications that change the world , mostly music related stuff, but getting there is becoming a daunting task. I believe i should rethink the learning curve, i have been following but the curve has barely freed itself from the clutches of origin and is doomed to stay there till I get serious OR God comes along and makes this his first priority. However both of these seem equally ridiculous.


I would have dived sincerely in coding world had i been unemployed , but destiny had it's own way.Though i was lucky enough to get a web related job without having a coding background i am really scared as to how long will the show last. The web remains my first love but coding still haunts me.The solution to this paradox is still lurking in oblivion.
Meanwhile i am on Thought-vacation & still hoping for God to change his Agenda.